Last night I was rudely awakened. I was reading my Kindle while in bed and obviously fell asleep with the Kindle in my hand. I awoke suddenly when the Kindle landed on my face. Who knew reading could be dangerous? Reminds me of an ad MTV ran back in the day about how reading was bad for you because you could get papercuts and then they cut to a scene in the ER. I used to be obsessed with MTV but then moved over to YouTube to find new music.
My YouTube has been ruined because we use my account on our TV at home and my boyfriend just loves metal. I, on the other hand, can’t stand it. And before you suggest switching profiles, please realise that that requires effort. So now if I feel like discovering new music, I use Spotify. And because it’s just me, the algorithm works beautifully. This morning I found a cover of Bon Iver’s Blood Bank by Third Eye Blind which really made my day. And now here’s Bytesized.
What has 4 legs and is DTF? This guy
Diego has fathered over 800 tortoises and single handedly saved his species. He is father to about 40% of all the tortoises on Galapagos. Before you start congratulating him, realise it did take him 44 years. Also, I think this is his way of ensuring he (or his kin) rule the island. At 100 years old you just know Diego is power-hungry.
Smells like teen spirit
Just when you thought Goop couldn’t shock us anymore, it goes ahead and does just that. Gwyneth released a This Smells Like My Vagina candle for $75 (R1078), which sold out in 2 hours! You can add it to your wish list if you’d like to be notified when it’s back in stock, but I think I’ll stick to Yankee Candle instead.
That Gwyneth Paltrow vagina scented candle is gonna be great for cheating men. "Nobody was here, baby. I'm burning a Gwyneth."
— Neal Brennan (@nealbrennan) January 12, 2020
At first, I was like WTF but then I realised it’s genius (is genius the right word?). The release of this candle comes just before Paltrow’s new Netflix show The Goop Lab, which focuses on approaches to wellness that are “out there,” “unregulated” and “dangerous.” I’m definitely watching this when it is released on Friday, 24 January.
And the Oscar for diversity goes to… definitely not the Oscars
Last week I wrote about the Golden Globes and this week the Oscar nominees were announced and people weren’t happy because something was missing. And what was missing from the nominations?
not a single oscar nomination for Carly Rae Jepsen's EMOTION… just because it "isn't a film" and "came out in 2015"…disgusting
— adam (@suspiriadam) January 13, 2020
Only joking. It was diversity. Diversity is missing from the Oscar nominations.
“Congratulations to those men.” Issa Rae is a legend. pic.twitter.com/WmfhDaBSkf
— Harry (@TheHarryParsons) January 13, 2020
And now this…
What to do when your significant other annoys you
My husband pissed me off today so I told him that I can’t wait to see what he had planned for our special day tomorrow
There is nothing special about tomorrow
But there is something special about watching the color leave his face as the panic takes over
— Kids_kubed 🇨🇦 (@Kids_kubed) January 11, 2020
That don’t impress me much
— Shania Twain (@ShaniaTwain) January 13, 2020
Want more? Click here to read last week’s edition.
