I won’t make a 2020 vision joke because then I would have to punch myself in the face, so instead, I will wish you a Happy New Year! I hope that you all had time to rest and that this year will be a good one. I went to Limpopo to visit the family, read, swam as much as I could (without getting seriously sunburnt – that’s got to be some kind of record) and started re-watching the Harry Potter movies. I also got my Christmas movie fix (The Muppets Christmas Carol is one of the best out there) and played board games. My favourite being Harry Potter Cluedo, where you get to travel via floo powder. I started work on Monday so I’m back into the swing of things. And that includes Bytesized (albeit a few days late because Sam decided go on holiday last week).
New year, new you
It’s time to start meditating.
If you’re looking for real, check out these free apps that will help you learn to meditate for free.
Charity porn: this lady raised over $1m by sending nudes to anyone who donated $10 or more to help put out the Australian bushfires
The news and social media feeds have been filled with horrific images of Australia burning not to mention awful pics of koalas and other animals. The Naked Philanthropist sent anyone who donated to a charity helping out a nude pic via DM. But remember sharing this is considered revenge porn and you will be sued. She even tweeted about it.
I raised over a million dollars for charity in less than 3 days by sending my nudes to people who donated https://t.co/A75KYu2nOj
— THE NAKED PHILANTHROPIST (@lilearthangelk) January 8, 2020
The Golden Globes
Ricky Gervais, being true to himself, didn’t hold anything back. If you haven’t seen the intro or just want a laugh, check out the video below. My favourite is the paedophile jokes and the line “I don’t care. Jeffrey Epstein wasn’t my friend, he was yours”. Brilliant.
Here's @RickyGervais' full opening speech at the #GoldenGlobes
Absolutely savage. pic.twitter.com/xxk3LgQou3
— Caleb Hull (@CalebJHull) January 6, 2020
They only served plant-based food at the Golden Globes. No idea why people get so offended, meat-eaters can eat veggie food but not vice versa. Also, it looked flippen’ delicious.
This tweet might have worked better if the food didn't look absolutely delicious. https://t.co/ZEYMIGmk48
— dan barker (@danbarker) January 5, 2020
Succession won a Globe for Best Drama and best actor. My S/O and I binge-watched it over the weekend and it was brilliant (Showmax has Season 1 and 2). It is 18 for a reason but it is really funny and shows how ‘effed up the 1% really are (because I would know).
Awkwafina won best actress for The Farewell. A friend told me to listen to the podcast, where the family didn’t tell their grandmother she had cancer. This is the movie based on that. The gran found out she had cancer by watching the movie. Listen to the podcast here.
And as we enter a new decade, just remember that this truly was the worst thing to happen
i think it’s pretty cool that we can all agree on the most fucked up thing of the past decade.
it wasn’t ebola
it wasn’t trump
it wasn’t even blake shelton getting sexiest man of the year
it was that damn U2 album that apple decided to just download to everyone’s iphone
— yeet lover’s pizza (@chunkyfila) January 1, 2020
And if you don’t want the past to taint the future, listen to Coconut Kelz
I read her book last year and it had me laughing out loud.
