Here’s the truth – I’m not even sure anyone noticed that for little under two weeks I haven’t been live streaming or that my YouTube video uploads have slowed to all but a trickle. But I’ve noticed. It’s eaten at my brain at 2am and bugged me on Thursday when I’ve sat in a queue at a bank rather than behind a PC. So I thought I’d drop a quick “life update” to explain myself. Even though I don’t have to. But I have noticed a slow drop in Sub and Follow numbers on both Twitch and YouTube so maybe this is necessary. I don’t know. Screw it, I’m doing it regardless.
For the last few months, I’ve been travelling A LOT. I’d be gone for a week back for a week and gone again. I think in the space of 2 and a bit months I visited Paris, Tokyo, Stockholm, Amsterdam and Aalborg. It became impossible to stick to my regular streaming and upload schedule because I was on and off planes and prepping for gigs. At the beginning of June I was finally home but, decided to push myself out of my comfort zone. I’ve taken on two “creative director” type roles on two different projects which is something new to me and takes a lot of time to manage, prep, organise, write scripts, film etc. I’m loving it but it does mean much of my working day is now tied up. You’ll be able to see the fruits of all of this towards the end of June and I’m so incredibly nervous. I also have faith that the teams working on these are going to blow these out of the water.
On top of taking on new challenges, I’ve also been dealing with some personal stuff. Some of it is pretty deep and rather emotional. It’s involved goodbyes and hard self reflection – I’m not going to go into much more here on the blog. But other personal stuff as well, that involves admin and paperwork and banks. Unfortunately it is the kind of stuff that has to be done during working hours. So at 1pm when I should be streaming I’m in a queue somewhere doing those things. It’s tied up my time. Unfortunately, on the days I do have a few hours at home the most I’ve been able to get through is smashing out a few blog posts and trying to catch up on emails. The LAST thing I’ve felt like doing is brushing my hair, turning on a camera and recording myself or streaming. In fact, since my last stream I haven’t even played a game because by 6pm I tend to just fall into a vegetable like state on the couch.
Even as I write all of this I’m looking at my diary and can see a bunch of video ideas jotted down. I miss playing games with you and trying to edit my jumbled words. I’m also realising that it isn’t the end of the world if there isn’t content going up. I’m still here, I’m still a person and it doesn’t mean I’m no longer relevant. Maybe it has taken me this long to realise that a persona on the internet isn’t what defines us. Saying all of that, you’ve supported me through so much and I did feel like I owed you an explanation.
I’m not gone, I’m just a bit busy. I’ll be back.
All photos were taken by rust2roses.