So much has happened in the world this week, but perhaps the most important is that we finally know that Mark Zuckerberg is indeed a reptilian overlord. Bytesized usually doesn’t involve “do whatever it takes, ruin as many people’s lives, so long as you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied along the way, just so long so you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist” type journalism, but this is important.
🦎Mark Zuckerberg is probably a reptilian aka a lizard person & here’s proof…
The conspiracy theory is real and Zuck’s recent actions in Congress prove it. I too first thought the lizard people were nothing to be concerned about but then I saw Zucks and now I’m a believer.
1.He needs to stay hydrated and luckily for him his thick waterproof skin is designed for keeping in moisture.
"don't forget to drink the water, humans like water" pic.twitter.com/RyhWE74Sl4
— ＲＵＩＮ™ (@BravingRuin) April 10, 2018
2.Some say he is a robot, but this reptilian overlord has learned how to walk among people.
— Mike Tokes (@MikeTokes) April 11, 2018
3.This shapeshifter knows how to stay warm in practical clothing.
Good morning to everyone except Mark Zuckerberg pic.twitter.com/wRBZmvTKKf
— Bardock Obama 🐝🇩🇴 (@SavinTheBees) April 12, 2018
4. He can’t sit like regular people and used a booster chair to hide his tail. Cunning.
Its not a booster seat, its a tail hiding device. https://t.co/exV0893H7D
— Immortan Matt (@JaigeyesWoW) April 10, 2018
RT if u dont need a booster seat like Zucc pic.twitter.com/11ZQbOdvBm
— ALGORITHM CONSULTANT 2.0 (@EthicalAncap) April 10, 2018
Good morning to everyone except Mark Zuckerberg’s highchair
— Jack Posobiec (@JackPosobiec) April 12, 2018
5. There really have been some clues… just look at his eyes.
— Pauline Park (@paulinepark) April 11, 2018
6. He knows everything. Everything.
Mark Zuckerberg: Senator, we understand the importance of privacy and would never violate it.
Senator: I don't believe you.
Mark Zuckerberg: Please Senator, go easy on me for your daughter's sake. Today is her birthday.
Senator: How did you know that?
Mark Zuckerberg: pic.twitter.com/1EIbMDtnAQ
— Usman Shamaki (@aushamaki) April 12, 2018
🚶We’ve all had to take this walk of shame
Whenever I go into a shop to grab a few things I always think I won’t need a basket. And by the third aisle and a couple of judgemental looks, I know it’s time. Time to go back and get a basket.
My walk of shame is going back to get a shopping basket after realizing I can't carry 23 items in my arms through the shop… pic.twitter.com/Ygtz6eWQCi
— LakzMaccasette💯 (@Lakz_Gaobotse) April 9, 2018
👢Move over Crocs. There’s a new fugly shoe in town.
Awesomely Luvvie wrote a funny article about these monstrosities, and even though I own a pair of Birkenstocks (don’t knock them until you try them. They are super comfy even without socks😀), these are on another level.
The sad thing is that they are probably comfy AF. Then for summer, as a Twitter pal pointed out, there are these. Yup, Uggs for the summer.
— UGG (@UGG) April 6, 2018