how-to-avoid-hugs

How to avoid hugs like a pro

My sibling is not a hugger. We have a running family joke where everyone tries to get a photo of us hugging each other. The closest anyone has come is when I awkwardly hug my sister and she just stands there. We also love going in for high fives only to leave each other hanging as well as handshakes that turn into running your hand through your hair. These jokes will never get old. If, like my favourite sibling you are not a hugger, then luckily for you there is an instructional video on how to avoid hugs like a freaking ninja.

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🥑 💍Avo proposals are a thing now

In February the world as we knew it changed. Avo proposals became a thing. And if you’re wondering WTF an avo proposal is, it’s where instead of a ring box you use an avo. Simply remove the pip and add a ring.

You can watch the entire proposal with flash mob here.

🤗How to avoid hugs like a pro

For me, one of the most awkward things is when you go in for a handshake but the other person has a different idea, like going for a hug or fist bump. Either way, it’s awkward.  On the fist bump handshake dilemma, Demetri Martin has the perfect response.

I hate when I go in for a handshake, I’m coming in traditional, I’m showing you my hand and the person comes back at me with like the fist thing and then I got to scramble, like upgrade, oh so we’re doing the fist. Okay like cause yours is new I go to do your thing. So I don’t do it, I just go like, paper covers rock bitch.

This guy demonstrates how to avoid hugs at a juggling convention. So if I ever come in for a hug and you’re not feeling it, here’s what you can do.

Or take the Donkey from Shrek approach by loudly declaring…

Magnitude... Hey, that is unwanted physical contact.

🔍Just Google it

Don’t you get annoyed when people ask you questions that they could have easily googled? You can be funny and say something like “There’s this new thing called Google. You should try it” or just be passive aggressive and send them this link: Just F%& Google It.

just google it
The best part of this website appears when you scroll to the bottom, Idiots Served: 1893597

And when people actually do google something, they google weird stuff. According to this, these are some of the top weird AF people google every month. 

what do people google
Other questions include When will I die, Do penguins have knees and Am I pregnant?

ICYMI: Bytesized for your ears (a podcast) is now available

👵You know you are old when…

I found this on social media and thought yup that’s me. My neck has been sore and I hope it’s just because I slept funny and not because its one of the symptoms of listeriosis.

Also you’re old if you think like this (and get shocked when someone says they were born in the 1990s).

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😂And now for something completely different

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