The incredibly expensive gift guide no one can afford


And by no one I mean us mere mortals. Bill Gates and Oprah could probably afford these but they are the type of billionaires to not waste money on  expensive gifts. Here is the 2016 incredibly expensive gift guide. A gal can dream…

And so can you! While you can’t buy these ridiculous and expensive items, Pay Pal is giving you the chance to win R1000 cash to spend on whatever you like. So read the article and leave a comment below to enter. It’s that simple. Also visit the PayPal website for some rad specials.

SEE ALSO: The super expensive tech gift guide 2015 (ps. you still can’t afford it) 

For the pet lover

Every year Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop releases their gift guide and yes it is as ridiculous AF. One such item is this custom pet necklace that costs $6850 (R93 736). Pet photo not included.

Image result for irene neuwirth custom pet jewelry
This necklace is for wealthy pet owners – you know the type that leave their fortunes to their pets.

Get your hair did

Donald Trump probably combs his completely natural hair (toupee) with this comb. Made by Tomas Veres, this comb will set you back by about $9566 (R130 487). The pantheon comb is sterling silver with a green ostrich leather case,  and is rhodium plated.

Tomas Veres Pantheon Comb is the Most expensive Comb
Don’t leave this comb in your pocket

Tea for two 

This teapot is in the Guiness Book of Records for being the most expensive teapot EVER! With a price tag of $3 million (R insert a Jacob Zuma number here) this is one teapot you won’t want to break.

Egoist Teapot
Covered in diamonds and rubies, this teapot is the original gangsta gift

For a change of pace check out our under R100 gift guide

These boots were made for walking 

For the person who has everything except gold plated shoes. For only $5405 (R73 728) you can walking around in Nike gold dunked sneakers (walking may be the wrong word…not sure how wearable these are)

Related image
Shiny new shoes

A practical yet classy gift

Sometimes the best gifts are the most practical. Why not get a laptop sleeve for $11 million (R JZ number again)? It is covered in 8800 diamonds and screams sophistication as it is finished off with rare black sable fur.

Diamond laptop sleeve


To stand the chance of winning R1000 from Pay Pal simply leave a comment below, telling us about the worst gift you’ve ever received. (And don’t worry R1000 will make it all better). For an extra entry be sure to tweet too!

This competition is open to all countries (so you don’t have to be South African to enter, because with PayPal I can transfer the cash to your PayPal account – winning!).

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  1. The worst gift i ever got hmmmm let me try and think, i would have to say that it was from a work secret Santa gift now take in mind I’m not the most formal guy on the block but I do like a good tie because i think it can make or break a good suite, Ok back to this gift now I don’t know if this person hated me or what because when i unwrapped this present it was an awful felt like plaid tie, I mean this thing was bottle green with black and red stripes that you could not gotten away with even if you wore a kilt and lived in Scotland. I still have this tie in its box at the top of my cupboard don’t ask me why i have kept it maybe I’m waiting for the Scottish zombie apocalypses or maybe it belongs to some long forgotten clan and will pay my millions to give it back to them.

  2. Just one? I am the Queen of Weird Gifts.
    My then boyfriend, now husband, gave me a clock radio for my birthday. This been the very first birthday I had had with him in my life. I mean a CLOCK RADIO?? And not even an expensive one. No, I was worthy of a small, white, plastic, cheap, digital clock radio with a flimsy wire antennae. Imagine the super human power of resistance it took not to give it back. Super Human!! He’s reasoning was that since I had recently started a new job and I am, in no stretch of the imagination, a morning-person that this would help me get up early and not be late for work. Love the sentiment, honey. But coffee in bed works just as well (and without the urge to smash it in your face.)

    I have also received a home-made pencil holder for my desk from a co-worker. Mmmm left THAT job. A bag of charcoal, a bag of un-popped popcorn kernels and firelighters. (Same boyfriend again)

    But all is not lost. After 21 years together I had “trained” this gent in the arts of gift giving. He now knows that diamonds ARE a girls best friend. But will settle for just about anything from the Star Wars franchise. Oh, and he did give me the most beautiful, gorgeous and a little weird (don’t know where that comes from) daughter. So he’s a keeper. Sorry ladies.

  3. The worst gift, given all we know now, was obviously 2015 gifting us 2016. The same 2016 which in turn deprived us of the dominance of the EU’s sound chocolate specifications, of the science behind the perfect pillowcase. The same 2016 that deprived us of eating Tacos purely for pleasure and replaced it with eating tacos as an act of political rebellion and solidarity. The same 2016 that told us to be afraid of those crossing our borders and told us to be weary of the merry rotund foreigner in red, lugging suspicious packages, who obviously hadn’t made his way through passport control. That said, given the season, we should acknowledge some of the positives. 2016 after all reminded us that gold-everything should be mistrusted. It also heralded the inevitable, long overdue demise of Marmite. Things could be worse.

  4. Someone gave me a book entitled ‘1000 ideas for crafting with everyday household items’ for my birthday a few years ago. I have never crafted before in my life, nor do I intend to do so. Ever.

  5. My worst gift ever- definitely the Secret Santa gift I got last year. Context- Every year, I organise the Office Secret Santa Party to spread some cheer! Last year, it turned out that I got one of the partners at our firm. I scouted and investigated, tried to figure out what she likes, and settled on a beautiful set of Carol Boyes ornaments for her desk. Turns out that, in a weird twist of fate, the same partner had gotten ME for secret santa! I was so amped to open my gift (come on, its from a partner, its got to be good!). I ended up getting the ugliest lump of marble that was supposedly a tea-light candle handler. I use it as a door stop now.

  6. Worst gift ever received was a cd holder, you know the ones meant for cars? Strangest thing was that I did not even own a car or a cd player for that matter.

  7. My worst gift ever, huh? No, I couldn’t possibly… I can’t think… everybody I know is so damn GOOD at giving gifts.

    Oh, okay, if you insist. It was a bottle of shower gel. I lived in a flat at the time, and didn’t have a shower. And the person who bought it for me knew that.

    But if you’re reading this right now, person who bought it for me, worry not: I kept it for ten years until I moved into my house, where I DID have a shower. It was really nice; I loved the scent (still strong, ten years later)! 😉

  8. I can’t get over this list!! Hectic! The gift that comes to mind is a watch/bracelet handmade with burnt orange beads and leaves. Not really my style! Didn’t have the heart to tell her though ;(

  9. Worst gift ever was from a company I once worked for.
    They gave out gifts to everyone on their birthday.

    They gave a R200 Woolworths voucher … I mean .. come on …

    I ended up getting a very expensive par of sock … not SOCKS … sock.

  10. Worst gift I received was this random self massage machine that totally doesn’t work and just feels like a piece of ‘technology’ that should never have been produced.

  11. My father’s girlfriend gave me a handheld vacuum cleaner for Christmas a couple of years ago. It was most definitely a hand-me-down. The worst thing about receiving such a shitty gift is having to sincerely thank the other person.

  12. Mine would have to be the time manicure set I received a few years back. When one day I cam across it in Crazy Store, I found out it costs only 20 bucks.

  13. The worst gift…would have to be the pink barbie cards my brother gave me when I was in grade 8…..I was a tad bit old for barbie to be honest(and I didn’t even like Barbie)….but I smiled and gave him a big hug?

  14. The worst gift I was ever given, was in a secret santa gift exchange hosted by my work, actually: It was a handcrafted dish towel for the kitchen….I was mortified!

  15. Ah i always think its the thought that counts… But the worst though was tear drop ear rings, if you from cape town and coloured you know exactly what this is and you never want to be wearing it…

  16. Hahahaha goodness. Funny. The worst gift I ever received was a second hand shirt from an ex boyfriend. He figured since I liked wearing it so much he’d give it to me for Christmas ?

  17. Worst gift was maybe 2 years ago. A friend asked a friend for a birthday gift: What does Simone like. Real friend said: She HATES costume jewellery. She doesn’t wear it, she’s a plain Jane. Wedding bands and a necklace.

    Gift buying friend proceeded to present me with the longest string of sea shells that I presume was a necklace. I don’t mean to be mean, but it must have cost about 20 bucks. She could have bought me a nice chocolate for 20 bucks. How do you buy somebody the very thing they were told I hated? oi vey!

    Before that, 13th birthday….my mom gave me a roll on for my birthday. A roll on. When she gave my cousin, that same year, for her 13th birthday, a sterling silver engraved brooch. (They were big in the 90’s) from American Swiss. My own mother??? #CantDeal

  18. This one was easy for me. My mother in law once gave me a “hamper” of cleaning stuff. Handy Andy, Sunlight Dishwashing Liquid and dish cloths. I was mortified, and to be honest – very offended. What was she trying to say? The worst part – she actually gift wrapped them! Argh…

  19. The worst gift I recieved was tealight candles not any fancy scented candles just plain boring tealight candles. SERIOUSLY.

  20. Hi again Sam! I think the worst gift i have ever received is a soft stuffed toy cat from my boyfriend for my birthday. I was mortified as I was expecting an engagement ring, bwahaha. But we ended getting married anyway even after such an epic failure lol!!!!

  21. The worst gift was actually a babyshower gift. My cousin said that she had the perfect thing to give me for the baby. I got home, opened all the gifts and realized that it was a bag of samples. SAMPLES! I guess she forgot to take the “this is not for sale” and “sample” sticker off of the products.

  22. I think I must be the only person who loves all kinds of gifts, I even though I would love most of the ppl who commented here’s gifts! Although one year my husband bought me a whith puffy jacket, it was a nice jacket, but white and toddler just dont mix! lol so I exchanged it for something else without him knowing (he never even asked me where it is or why Ive never worn it, lol)

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