I must admit the title is what piqued my interest in this book. I really do give a f#%k and worry about what people think a lot. Sometimes I wish I had the guts to not give a f&*k and just do whatever I wanted. Like getting into an elevator and singing I believe I can fly with conviction. So if you’re like me, then The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson is for you.
We’re trying to do it all. We have so many options and choices and yet are still unhappy. There’s actually too much choice. Find what you care about to narrow down your choices and you’ll actually become happier.
Mark shows us how to find out what matters most to us, focus on that and fuck the rest.
Suffering & sacrifice serves a purpose
We try an avoid it, but there are times when it is necessary. And suffering doesn’t always mean bleeding hearts. Sometimes it is as simple as the trade off between your social life and learning to play an instrument well.
Find your purpose: what do you give a f*ck about?
This process is very simple but not easy. I’m still stuck on the first question.
- Ask yourself why you do something? What are your motives?
- What are your values? Think of your values as what you use to measure your success or whether you choose to do something.
Avoid values that you have no control over or that are dependent on what others think. The whole point is focusing on what you think and what you value.
I recently came across this quote on Facebook and it struck a chord.
“If you don’t live by the praise of men you won’t die by their criticism.” – Bill Johnson
Your values keep you going through suffering. This is because you see the bigger picture. And whatever happens you can only control your reaction to the results.
Question your beliefs because you could be wrong
- I do this all the time, possibly to a fault. I realised a long time ago there is so much more to learn and that you should never get cocky about what you think you know.
- Yes this process is uncomfortable, but it will help you grow.
Practice saying no
Whenever I say no it is usually followed by a reason. When you work out what you want, saying no to anything that doesn’t fall in line with your values is easy. And remember no doesn’t need an explanation.
This book also made me think of this letter by Kurt Vonnegut which explains the importance of enjoying the process. Sometimes you should do things not because you are good at it but because you enjoy it. Check out Neil Gaiman’s Make Good Art for more inspiration.
READ THIS BOOK IF: you want to learn what’s important and focus only on stuff that matters.