Talking about online privacy is a conversation that usually elicits two types of responses: the first will be supportive and interested, and the second will roll their eyes and accuse you of being overly paranoid. However you view the issues surrounding online privacy and security, there’s one thing you may not have considered yet: How your children not only deserve, but have a right to, their online privacy.
It’s great to have family rules and guidelines around screen time; access to platforms and what suitable content looks like, but what happens when someone not in your immediate family, but attached to it, breaks the rules?
I recently read this Mashable piece on how to talk to your babysitter about online privacy and it got me thinking: what can I do when someone else breaks our family rules?
As an example, my BFF and I have specific rules around posting pictures of our children – we usually check with each other before sharing a picture of them to Instagram or the like. But not everyone has that kind of relationship, which is why I get antsy about fellow school moms snapping pictures at school pick up time and then sharing those on Facebook, when my own kid is in the picture (yes, I’m a bitch about it and no, I don’t care). There’s more to it too – giving children their own agency and control over their online lives doesn’t start when you hand them a cellphone or open up their Facebook account – it starts the second you post a picture of them online, and ends with their own ability to control what parts of their life is shared.
Of course, babies don’t get that option – look up almost any new parent on Facebook and you know they’ve posted cute snaps from their newborn shoot. And yeah, the photographer who snapped those pictures is also sharing them via their Facebook page – by the way, on that note, as a parent and client, you can request that your photographer NOT share your images online, and that request can and should be honoured.
The Mashable article listed a few helpful tips on how to have the conversation around online privacy with your babysitter or childminder, but you might find it awkward to chat about it with the enthusiastic fellow school mom who is happy-snapping at sports day.
Let’s just make a rule and, if we all stick to it, we won’t have this problem: If you take a picture of someone else’s child, ask the child and parent if you can share it online. In fact, that should be a rule for everyone, and yes, even those selfies you snapped while out at dinner. But, when it comes to our children, let’s take a little extra step of care next time we snap and share.
